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[31 Oct 2009|06:33am] |
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mood |
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 whatever |
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The resolution-Jacks manniquin |
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FYI: I am ONLY posting this entry because it is 6:23am and I am on my way to school and I am bored and tired as fuck.
And with that, I begin.
I felt pretty happy and excited about halloween after having a decent time at the party at emi's school. But now...idk...not so much. I don't even fucking know why I like halloween so much. I guess because I like scary movies and to scare myself and dressing up and trick or treating. But I hardly ever do any of that. I'm pretty much being melo-dramatic though because I did do a significant amount of things this halloween. I went to a party, a haunted house and I'm sure I'll do SOMETHING later on. Shit I got a costume, might as well.
I feel like giving up on humanity. My friends, family, love interests....all of em. Idk I'm just not feeling very social latley.
How do you ignore the world ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) masochista? Teach me your secrets.
And also I feel like I use this smiley face ----> :-/ , way too much.
And one more thing, this guy sitting next to me smells like fart :-/. Ok I'm done.
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[30 Oct 2009|12:14pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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papparazzi- lady gaga |
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The halloween party was not what I expected but it was realy fun none the less. What else can you expect when you get a gang of lesbians of gay guys (who are white) and throw them together with music and alchohol and costumes? fun fun fun.
I randomly talked to a bunch of people and danced with people and made emily too and now she has friends at hunter. Yay! They told her to stop by anytime espeacially on thirsty thursdays lol.
I also won the costume contest where the grand prize was 50 bucks. awesome. I wish masochista could have came but she wsnt feeling well =(.
I hope this weekend and the rest of the halloween plans are as fun as tonight was.
I still can't help but caring about things people don't even want me to but...Its a skill that I will aquire with time and practice. Don't worry by this time next year, I will probably not even come back to LJ anymore just secretly hoping somebody would post a little window as to wtf is going on with them.
P.S
I get my mp3 player this weekend!!!!! Fucking YAY
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[27 Oct 2009|01:02pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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The other day I was all crying on the ferry while spilling my guts out in an lj comment to masochista. I probably should have typed it all out here but hey whatever....It's not like it matters where I put it, I'm just glad I got it all out.
Of course, no one but Angie even realized what was happening. Which I expected. But I meant what I said. I am no longer going to complain about this. Its how the world is and its how I have to be. I actually had a conversation with Fe about it. And while she didnt even fully get where I was coming from...she made me feel better. Then i called her later on that night and we spoke for like an hour and a half about stuff...I love talking to her. Too bad I have a limited amount of talk time because I'm using emily's phone...
Now for a more happy topic. I cannot wait for this weekend. Its halloween yay. I got my costume and everything. And we gonna have lots of fun fun fun
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[26 Oct 2009|05:44am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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kelsey- metro station |
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I feel so stupid.
Highschool is over. Its time to start anew. Sorry old life.
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[22 Oct 2009|01:38pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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No other love- heart |
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"Walls are there to show who really want it..."
Guess somebody wants to see how bad I want this money!
*Sigh*
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| Hmmm... |
[08 Oct 2009|12:43am] |
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mood |
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excited |
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music |
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Pretty Wings- Maxwell |
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I groomed both dogs, (gave Jacob a full haircut), cleaned the house, washed the clothes, and got my own hair done today. I'm both worried and excited. I'm excited about Friday and Saturday. I'm worried because I'm excited about it. Lol, whenever I put too much expectations in something it alwayz go wrong...Idk, heres hoping for the best.
Also, I got the most random call from my grandfather in Trinidad...Wierd...lol, more about that tomoro.
I miss my Angie :-/...But, I determined to get her back!
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[05 Oct 2009|01:15pm] |
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 happy |
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I want to know your plans- Say anything |
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So last night I stayed up real late (till like 4 o clock in the morning) reading me and sha's old lj entries. We were so different....but then not so much. Believe it or not we were almost the same as we are now just...younger.
I like to reminisce in the past but not too much because if i do it for too long it makes me sad. Mostly it just makes me laugh though.
Next weekend, shalisa, emi, tato, and I are supposed to be going on a super awesome birthday weekend for sha. The plans aren't finalized yet but I know for sure we are going to be spending the night in a hotel that's not in NYC...fun fun fun
I hope everything goes according to plan.
Also, there is a new woman in my life and so far shes really kewl. I've been speaking to her everyday for about 2 weeks now but we are going to have our first official date this upcoming Friday. I would have had her ass out and about all the time but she lives upstate. And she also goes to school. She drives though so next weekend shes coming down and I'll let you know how that goes...lol. I'm not looking for a relationship at all right now but getting to know someone knew and fresh wouldn't hurt...And it helps that she is so freaky and cute ;-).
School is going pretty good forget that im ditching today. I had to do a ballion papers and reports for my English class and my COR100 class. I took the first math test and i got a 94! I was so happy :-D. The next exam and my first midterm is coming up soon too so I have to start preparing and studying for those so I can be happy about good grades some more.
I haven't spoken to masochista in like 56 million weeks but I guess shes doing her own thing living with Sacoya and what not. I didn't want her to be one of the friends fading in my life but...with a new life comes new people. Some people I will never let go (YOU KNOW WHO YOU FUCKERS ARE). But others I just can't try and force to stay friends with me.
I'm pretty content with my life right now. I can't wait until Halloween. It's gonna be AWESOME.
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| So.... |
[29 Sep 2009|10:38pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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None |
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You ever been penalized for living for fucking life? I have...Actually...I am. Every day.
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[28 Sep 2009|07:05pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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You Belong with me- Taylor Swift |
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My Laptop broke :(
*cries forever and dies*
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| Missing you... |
[23 Sep 2009|08:57pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Colbie Callait- Falling for you |
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I miss Jennifer Beals and the L word. Why did they have to take my life away??? :-(
BTW, Saw Jennifer's body. That shit was not worth my time. It was...not good....at all. Megan fox made a horrible scary girl. Who would be scared of someone so dumb???
Yeah good thing i saw that shit on bootleg and aint waste 10$ on it.
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[01 Sep 2009|10:45pm] |
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sad |
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In the arms of an angel- Sarah McLachlan |
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I think love is so intoxicating and humans seek companionship so longingly because deep down we all feel truly alone...Some more then others. And sometimes, it gets so much that its unbearable to take.
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[26 Aug 2009|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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the nobodys- Marilyn Manson |
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I'm worried...about so many things. I'm worried about myla. Will she adapt well to the NY lifestyle? Is she gonna be ok with all the hopping around we gone have to be doing? There aint no grass here for her to fucking take a shit!
i need a job. I'll finish my complaining entry...later :-/
BTW
Angie is tryna give my heart to satan by tryna make me listen to this devil worship music
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[23 Aug 2009|10:32am] |
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Please don't leave me-pink |
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HAPPY B-DAY masochista
My best friend for about 5 years now, I cherish and adore you and wish you the most pleasent birthday you can possibly have (without me there harassing you to have Angie day).
All the things I wish you
* I wish you strength.
-To over come your future obstacles and get through the days to come.
* I wish you love
-From every direction possible, from those you expect it from and from those you don't.
* I wish you Motivation
- So that you never hear anyone complain about you being lazy again! ;)
but most of all!
* I wish you happiness.
-For the rest of your days...FOREVER AND EVER AMEN!
I love you angie and I want you to enjoy this day as best as you can, doing what you love <3
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| Wondering... |
[19 Aug 2009|12:51am] |
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Why do I have such misfortune...
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[15 Aug 2009|02:49am] |
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music |
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Robot chicken |
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Today was a good day...These past two days were good actually. Yesterday was a nice picnic at graves park. We ate sandwiches and brownies and cheese cake and juices and what not. Then we played volly ball, foot ball, and tag with the doggies. It was a really fun and active day.
The today I drove emi, jr, terah, chris and I to the funplex movie theater which is this really fun place tht has a movies and arcade all in one. We saw GI joe ( Which was surprisingly good) and played DDR, basketball, skeeze ball, soul caliber, racing games and pool. It was totally cool and then afterwards we totally pigged out on taco bell. Chris's curfew is so annoying though...I wish he could be like my NY friends and freaking hang out till 4:00 in the morning...But seeing as until hes 18 he has to be home by midnight according to the state of georgia I think that's not gonna happen anytime soon.
Emily stupid self is leaving tommoro...I'll be following shortly after in about 12 days. My ticket is already booked. I'm a little excited about college and all the new experiences soon to come. And i miss my angie-mar and sha sha....Oh NY, hear I come once again.
--
*Relle.Benz*
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| So....(pt 2) |
[11 Aug 2009|11:10pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
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music |
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Please don't leave me-pink |
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Things are a little better than when I last updated. Amanda's gone cries. I hope I meet someone just like her in collegio. But emi and I are getting along much better, Yay!.
And I'm never driving again. This fucking crazy woman swore I hit her car today at the library parking lot. She was fucking crazy and she called the cops on me. Nothing has come of it yet and I'm not too worried seeing as all evidence points to the obvious fact that I did not hit her car but still...There are some crazy ppl out there.
*Sigh*
the only way I'd be looking forward to going back to NY is if my loan comes through, my financial aid comes through, and my living situation is cleared up completely. Then and only then will I look forward to returning to the "city that never sleeps".
--
*relle_benz*
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| So.... |
[09 Aug 2009|12:18am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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The priest and the matador- Senses fail |
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Idk Whats even going on right now...I'm like lost in utter out of worldliness (I'm purposely making no sense). It's like the moment I feel like I'm finally somewhat starting to have a substantial place in life different things come along and throw me for a loop again. I've been feeling really stressed out down here in GA and then Mandy comes and it's only added stressed. I know shes not tryna stress me out on purpose but shes really not being herself. Shes overly emotional and I feel like I can do no right. No longer being in a romantic relationship has put a total 24/7 strain on our friendship...I didn't want to loose a friend.
UGH Why can't everybody just leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *screams and dies 1000 times*
Isnt bad enough that I have to deal with this fucking family and then ontop of that I have to deal with pleasing everyone else to...Gimmie a fucking break.
The only relief I ever receive is when I hang out with my friends outside of this house and away from these people. I especially have fun with Amanda. Being with her is like being another person...Living another life...It's dangerous but somehow I like it. Like bunjee jumping...You know the rope could snap and you could potentially be plunging to your death but...somehow that doesn't stop you...Somehow the adrenaline of it all, out ways the risk. It's a dangerous game but that makes it all the more fun to play...Too bad shes leaving in a few days. I wouldn't have minded getting lost in her world a little more...Mine sucks :-(
--
*Relle_Benz*
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[07 Jul 2009|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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come on get higher- matt something... |
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Gurls = FUCKING CRAZY PSYCHO BITCHES
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